Billy goes a'courting - An understanding with Rose
Billy had an eye for the girls and seemed to have little
difficulty attracting their attention and affection. The diaries
record probably half a dozen relationships over the course of as
many years. He was clearly attracted by a pretty face but that was
not enough for him. The girl had to be intelligent and “sensible”
to maintain his interest. Most of his girl friends were servants in
the houses in which he worked. Once the building job was completed,
Billy would move on to another job. Often he would try to maintain
the link with letters and occasional day visits to and fro. But the
free time of a household servant was even less than that of a
journeyman builder and frequently the challenges of time and travel
stifled a relationship before it could bloom.
A couple of relationships did show real promise and in each
instance the girl was clearly hoping it would turn into something
more enduring. But here Billy was caught on the continuing dilemma
of his family responsibilities. Billy’s father Henry had a serious
drinking problem that erupted every few weeks in a serious binge.
This would lay Henry low for several days and bring his work and
earnings to a complete halt. If Billy was working in Horsham he
would attempt to keep Henry’s horse hire business ticking over
during these binges. If he was out of town, Eliza his mother would
sometimes summon him home to help out. Even in good times Billy was
subsidizing the family income on a regular basis and making regular
payments to subsidise his sisters’ meagre wages as household
servants. At a time when several of his friends were getting
engaged, married and starting families, Billy felt he could not
afford to follow their example. It is sobering to reflect that this
obligation to support his birth family, and the resulting crimp on
his hopes to get married and start his own family, endured right
through till his father’s death in 1914. By that time his brothers
and sisters were all out in work and he felt secure enough in his
own career to consider getting married.
In the meantime, he clearly enjoyed the company of a pretty girl
and disappointed a number of them when he was unwilling to move the
relationship onto a more permanent basis. The first such
relationship recorded in the diaries was with Rose Hills, or Esor
Sllihs as he referred to her with ingenuous coyness.
Monday 19th to 23rd June 1894
Loxwood[1] again for the week. Had a
jolly time of it this week. Most evenings were spent on the lake
rowing the servants till Friday night when Esor Sllih and I had the
boat to ourselves. Spent a very happy time and I “think” came to an
understanding.
Sunday 24th June 1894
Etorw tsrif rettel ot Yesor.
Thursday 28th June 1894
Dah tsrif rettel morf Yesor & derewsna emas.
Saturday 30th June 1894
After work went to station to meet “R”. Home for tea and then
caught 5.30 to Southwater to see a friend of hers (turned out to be
an acquaintance of mine), trained home and then a walk round
town.
Sunday 1st July 1894
Laid abed this morning. Had a stroll with R before dinner, spent
the afternoon at Miss Randall’s “New Found Out”, had quite a jolly
party, then a walk and home. Heard band a little while, then R and
I made for the cricket field. Spent the rest of evening on a bench
“spooning”.
Monday 2nd July 1894
Took R to Brighton by 8.07 train. A little rain going fine on
arrival … Made for the front. After a stay there we went over the
aquarium, had dinner, then to Western Road shopping on the Front
again. Listening to band and West Pier, and an easy walk to the
station after spending a very enjoyable day. Got back to Horsham by
9 pm.
Tuesday 10th July 1894
Dah rettel morf Esor & derewsna emas.
Sunday 22nd July
Wrote to Esor. [Had] arranged to go to Loxford today but could not,
Bern being here and Church Parade as well, so postponed visit for a
time.
Sunday 29th July 1894
Arranged overnight to go bathing this morning but Bern[2] and I, feeling very comfortable in bed, we
stayed there till 9 a.m. then got up to breakfast and caught the
10.00 train to Billingshurst to pay first visit to Esor.
View from Mill Lane, leading into
Billingshurst, 1907, reproduced courtesy of West Sussex Past
Pictures, Ref: PP/WSL/P000826, Rep: West Sussex County Council
Library Service;
Photo credit.
On arriving there found out the G. Baptist Chapel and went to
service. While in there, rain came on very hard, so after chapel I
stayed in schoolroom and had a snack I had brought with me with
[the] Minister who seemed a very nice “Old Johnnie”. Stayed there
till 3 and then went to meet Rose [sic]. Found her and then spent
the afternoon under a railway bridge, raining hard all the time.
Went to chapel again this evening. Only nine present including
parson, choir, organist and ourselves, but still they managed an
anthem somehow. After service, made for station, caught the 7.37
train and got home very wet. Not a very grand day for first
time!
Sunday 5th August 1894
Turned out about 9.30, called on Joe Boxall about a job at Burgess
Hill (no go). Then Bern came up for me and we had a walk before
Chapel. Out with Sam after dinner round Green Lane and Denne Park.
Chapel again in evening but hadn’t been there long before I was
fetched out by Bert[3] with R waiting
outside. Had a walk together round Park then to station to see R
off again. The went to Carfax to listen to band.
Monday 6th August Bank Holiday 1894
Got up at 6, met Bern, routed up Sam[4] and all three made for Sewage Works
(Nel[5] still there). Had a general
look around then home to breakfast. Afterwards went down to Bern’s
diggings and saw him develop the views we took of Forest
Waterfall[6]. Had dinner and then to
Springfield Meadow for sports. Very poor affair especially the
Military Tournament. The only interest to me was the performance of
the W.R.G. who took seven prizes. Not bad for first year. Saw R
with Mother in the field – [she] came up after I left home. After
sports, went home to tea. Had a walk with R then to carnival, also
rather poor compared to former ones. R went back at 10.30 rather
poorly. And so finished another Bank Holiday. I have come to the
conclusion that “Gnitruoc si ton ym Etrof”.
Week of 13th to 17th August 1894
Letter from R.
Sunday 2nd September 1894
Chapel morning and evening. Being Bern’s half-holiday, we took a
walk round Parthings and floodgates, calling on old Trim to sample
his pears. Coming out of Chapel at night I found R waiting, had a
walk to station, saw her off, and then waited half an hour for my
train[7].
Sunday 7th October 1894
Went to Billingshurst by 9.50 train. Met Rose and rode to her home
at Kirdford Common a “lively” spot seven miles from everywhere.
Misty, misty rain nearly all day to improve matters. Caught 6.10
from Billingshurst to Horsham. Had a walk with Rose (who would come
up just for the hour) and left for Leatherhead at 8.05. Glad the
day was over. Don’t think I shall have another like it in a
hurry.
Sunday 2nd December 1894
Chapel in the morning. Good sermon on “Prejudice”. After dinner
went to Southwater with Sam. Met Geo. Hills and “Donah” on the
road. Former wished to mediate ’twixt me and R (very kind I’m
sure). Then went into Mr Bullen’s “The Chase”[8] with Sam. Had tea, a jaw and a bottle of
wine and got home at 10 p.m. Fairly enjoyed the outing barring the
said meeting.
This relationship seems to have sputtered out at this point.
Clearly, Billy had found Rose’s persistence somewhat
off-putting.
- [1] A small village
some 6 or 7 miles west of Horsham. Presumably, this was Loxwood
House, the only place large enough to have its own lake.
- [2] Bernard Baker,
probably Billy’s best friend during his twenties.
- [3] Bert was one of
Billy’s brothers which suggests Rose had called at the Hoad house
looking for Billy.
- [4] Sam Chriss, another
pal of Billy.
- [5] Nelson Chriss, Sam
Chriss’s younger brother.
- [6] Bernard and Billy
had “gone halves” on the purchase of a camera and had been taking
photographs of local beauty spots.
- [7] Billy was working
on a job at Leatherhead and was only home for the weekend.
- [8] The 1891 Census
records George Bullen as an agricultural bailiff, aged 29, living
with his wife and baby daughter in “Chase Cottage”, Southwater,
next door to a more well-to-do family in “The Chase”. It appears
that by 1894, George was running some sort of tavern either in his
house or next door.
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